I cried a little after Camel today. It’s been building up for a while now, and I’m glad it finally happened. I would consider this to be a breakthrough, and hope that this will release something and help me move forward with this pose. The first time around, I couldn’t even stand myself up on my knees, because my heart was racing so much. As we laid in Savasana, the instructor said something that clicked – he told us to let go of all the previous associations we had with this pose and go into it with determination, to work and breathe through the discomfort. So on the second try, I was able to let my head drop back. Baby steps. The most difficult poses for me are the ones that require the head to drop back, the chest to open up and the spine to bend backwards. I’m not sure why, but I suspect it’s a trust issue, attached to a some sort of irrational fear that my head or spine will snap clear off or I’ll fall on my head or something.
Tuladandasana, or Stick Pose always get my heart racing. Maybe this is the case because this pose follows the Standing Bow Pose, which is always a huge challenge for me. I have yet to stay in that posture for the full duration. I would be very interested to see what my Stick Pose actually looks like. While in it, I feel like I’m in the “T” shape, but I think my perspective might be skewed a bit here, as I saw my leg hanging in view. I wasn’t sure I could do the second set, but pushed through anyway.
I also realized that I haven’t been doing Pada Hastasana, or Hands to Feet Pose correctly. In fact, this one gets me every time. Not only am I unable to straighten my legs, it’s hard enough trying to stay balanced in this pose. Elbows behind the calves, chest on thighs, head on the lower legs, and then pull, pull, pull. This sensation burns my hamstrings like you wouldn’t believe. The pulling is supposed to balance you out but for some reason it throws me off a bit. and the sweat dripping into my nose isn’t helping either. It reminds me of the ocean. You know, I never thought stretching would be this hard. They say you’re never supposed to reach the point of comfort, the object is to keep stretching further. I still wonder about the extent of this. I’m still waiting for the day my legs aren’t bent anymore.
